From the time you are born, until the time you die, there will be so many influences that try to either make, break, or shape your soul. As a child, there are many things that you cant do to alter your existence; such as your environment, your parents, your skin color, and even how you are raised. To a degree these things make up our make up. These are the stages of our life when we don’t realize really right from wrong, ugly from beautiful, good from bad; it is not until we are taught that we learn. Unfortunately because no one is perfect, that may also mean that the way we are raised, where we are raised, and the people who raised us may make mistakes on how to raise us.
Then of course you as an individual take those things that you have seen, learned, and maybe even felt with you as you grow up. An, as you grow up you have several other influences such as friends, school, media, the world that begin to influence you outside of what you already have instilled in your soul. I believe this is where we begin to make choices of sticking to what we know, what makes you…. you or you begin to question it and slowly start changing and conforming to the things around you.
There maybe a number of reasons why this happens; from peer pressure, to self-doubt, rebellion, curiosity. Sometimes, we come back from this and are able to realize that these things are not what we want, and we snap back into ourselves. But, many don’t! Many stay stuck within conformity, and cant find themselves because they are so wrapped up in what others are thinking, pleasing others, or even their own upbringing.
I am a living testimony that this is not a way of life, and that even though you may veer off the right track for a little while, you can get back on, you can in fact find yourself, know yourself and love yourself despite where you have come from or what people try to judge you about. You have to remember that you are MORE than all of those things.
My life in early childhood I do not really remember to much. I do however remember points in my life were dis function, pain, neglect, anger, depression, fatherless, single mother home stem from. However, in the 6th grade when my life turned upside down, I made a promise to myself and to God that no matter what happened to me I would keep striving to overcome. (I have been knocked down, spit on, beaten up, thrown around, lost in life and God has still helped me to overcome, and I am at a point now where I can look at all that and be thankful I went through it.)
Back to the point though …..that you can overcome the mistakes, the generational curses, the set backs that you have gone through in life and even will go through in life. Just because your parents, environment, friends, world… basically anything outside of yourself, says to do something a certain way or these things do things a certain way doesn’t mean that you have to do them that way. Just because you may have grown up in poverty, the country, the suburbs, or even on a different continent doesn’t mean that those things have to make you anymore.
I guess I can say that I have developed a perception that everything is a choice. Everyone has trauma, everyone goes through hard times…. its how you deal with those hard times, and what you let those hard times do to you that matters. So I think of it as 3 generalized choices….
- You can choose to let the bad, mistakes, environment and anything made to break you to instead use it to motivate you, mold you, to create in you a desire for greater.
- You can choose to let it be excuses for your behavior or life. Meaning that you say stuff like, well I drink because I saw my mother drink every night. Now although this can affect you on a subconscious level, it still is your choice of how you deal with that information that you process.
- You can choose to let it keep you stuck in regret, throw yourself a pity party, and do nothing at all in life. Which to me in this case you are basically letting life win, and the generational curse continue.
Although there maybe more than this, these are the ones that in my opinion I see the most. It is your choice of how you want to respond to life, and respond to the difficulties. I am only here to encourage that those things aren’t all of who you are. They may be apart of you, but they don’t define you.
I would encourage you to stay true to yourself, and if you don’t know what staying true to yourself is, then I would suggest to do some soul searching. If all you know is what you have been raised by, and you know you don’t want to live that way then search for the knowledge, wisdom that you need to make those differences. ( books, role models, classes) . If you do the research a lot of these things maybe offered for free in your community.
Just don’t give up on yourself, don’t let these things alter who you are, but instead find who are and stand on being true to yourself.
Stay True to yourself!
p.s.( my relationship with God is what I owe the power to overcome these things without that I would have been gone along time of go)