God, Faith, Struggle

There are many things that I have been through in my life. And maybe eventually I will begin speaking on more of these things through out my blog. But for now I can only give highlights and start with one event at a time.  I am going to be as real and transparent as possible when it comes blogging about my life and my perspective. I will give my testimony of life in hopes that it will help someone else.

This year for the holidays, people were asking me what I wanted for Christmas. Of course, in younger days I probably would have listed off a lot of different things that I could have wanted. But, this year I did the opposite and instead said I needed nothing. I said I needed nothing because I had everything I already needed that God had already blessed me with.

The reason I said this is because of the fact that over the past year and a half, I had struggled big time as an adult. When your going through the struggle with children, the pressure seems even worse. Well, needless to say here is a little of the past year of my life. I moved from my hometown to a nearby city, thinking that if I moved, I would be running away from all the craziness in my life.  Which at first seemed to be the right choice. I had a good job making $2,000+ a month, a nice place, a nice car and etc. I was thinking everything was going pretty good.  That was until I was laid off from my job a week after I got that really nice car I was driving. So of course with no job  means no car payment, that means the car got taken from me.  For some reason it had been a month in a half, and I still couldn’t find a job. I had to move from my really nice apartment into a small little two bedroom .  I ended up finding a job, a little after moving into the new place. I was still without a car though, and had to walk in extreme cold and heat with my kids. I can just remember now, my daughter one, my son 6, pushing one stroller full of groceries up and down hills, catching the bus, and basically throwing away money on taxis.  I endured this for a little over a year. I ended up having to quit the job I had ( another story), and because I had less than 100.00 to my name, I knew it was time to go back to my hometown because I was having no luck.

I moved back to my hometown, and continued to struggle. Ended up staying with a family member with my daughter, and sending my son to live with my mom so that he could go to school. Due to the fact that I still had to catch the bus, and basically was sleeping on the floor.  That was until this family member, kept threatening to kick me and daughter out every other day to a week. So, I decided to leap out on faith, with a friend and her baby who was also homeless, and decided that I was going to take 300.00 of the 600.00 I had to my name and get us a hotel for a week. I didn’t know what was going to happen next in my life. I just knew that I was trusting God to be the one to provide for me.  Well, needless to say God most certainly came through for me on the 2nd to last day of being in the hotel and not knowing where I was going to go. God came through for me with not only a job, home, but also I was able to take the last 300.00 I had and get a car. God made away for me to get the insurance and license taken care of through a local church.

I felt like life was starting to get back on track. Going from having everything on your own, living on your own since 18… to having nothing, hopping from home to home was a big pride chipper, and bigger pill to swallow because I didn’t want my kids to struggle. But I trusted that God would see me through this dark time in my life, and reminded myself that although this was a storm, I had come through alot worse before. So, there it was everything seemed to be getting back in place, my son came back to me after only a month at my moms. Had the car, home, job again that I had lost, until the job I had which was a live in home position, decided to let me go 3 days before Thanksgiving and told me I had 3 days to get all my things and get out. Mind you, I had no where to go. But God came through for me again. I ended up running into a woman who had been support for me in junior high, a week or two before I lost the job, and reconnected with her. Once she  heard, that I lost my job and had no where to go she offered her home to me.

It was one of the worst feelings in the world, to be homeless yet again and no job yet again.  I had to celebrate Christmas with my children, in someone else home which was the first, and the worst feelings ever. It then took me 3 months to find a job which was even worse. I ended up finding a job in January, only for the woman I was staying with to tell me that I had a little less than a month to find somewhere for me and my kids to go, because she was moving from the home she was in. So, I again was facing this time being homeless again, but thankful this time with a job and a car. I didn’t worry though, I just put my faith in God knowing that he would in fact provide for me. Well, thats exactly what he did, provided for me a church program that gave me and my babies somewhere to live for 4 months, while also teaching me to budget my finances and save. I then ended up getting help with housing to get my own home again. Which was hard for me in itself, because I am used to doing everything alone with no help, so taking help is really hard for me to do.

But I can say that over the year of dealing with all of these things I did most certainly practice an extreme amount of faith and trust in God, and believe that if it wasn’t from him, I wouldn’t have made it here today.

So, thats why I say that this year. I have everything I could ever ask for. After going from having it all to having nothing, to having it again. For me being able to finally be stable, for me to be able to wake up in my own home, for me to have been able to celebrate Christmas for my babies in my own home and not someone else’s…. is the best gift I could have asked for.

I don’t know if I went through all those things to strengthen my faith, trust, belief in God, and to be able to tell others or not but I can say it most certainly did increase all of these things in my life.

My words of advice for anyone struggling or going through some dark times right now, is to keep faith, trust in God. To not give up, to keep looking for the light even in the midst of all the darkness. To keep pushing for yourself, and to know that although  it may seem like it wont end or it wont get better it will. I can only say that the things that we lose in the storm, God has an amazing way of blessing us with even greater things then what we lost. I am a living testimony of some of the magnificent things that God can in fact do. Don’t let the dark, fear, problems take away your hope….. keep hope in God….. and remember that he is greater than your problems and greater than the world  🙂

Psalms 46:1-3

 

P.s. the cute little puppy is a present I got for my kids to resemble a new beginning for us.. his name is Noah..

Comment do you have any pets? if so what kind? Name?

 

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2 thoughts on “God, Faith, Struggle

  1. Amazing story! You’ve really been through a lot of woes in such a short period of time. I share a fraction of your story but I didn’t have to endure quite as much as you… During my rough times I would break down and really wonder where did I go wrong. I soon came to figure out that most, if not all, of my problems were of my own doing. It of course was inadvertent so it took some time to see these mistakes and figure out how to correct them. I really hope life leads you to success and happiness…

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    1. Thank you I apperciate that. And trust me that thought of where did I go wrong has crossed my mind countless time. A large portion of my results in life were do to my own choices, but some however are from things I cant control like family. I have a lot more stories to tell. but this is the most recent. Thank you for taking the time to read it… I wish you success and happiness in your future as well. Please like, share, and subscribe 🙂

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