This word love is such a powerful word. The word love used to mean so much to the common person, nowadays it’s meaning has become uncertained. The world has somehow twisted the original meaning of loved and has distorted its own wicked definition. It seems as though I more about lust than it is about actual love. On top of this being a major impact on the view of love, so has the love of self and others.
The world insist on pushing out its own standards of beauty, devaluing the beauty of who we are. This then makes us question our own beauty. We look at all these ways the world tries to tell us is right with. Not only love but other areas in our life. We then begin to look at ourselves as less then. We let not only the world chip us away, but other people, situations chip away our spirit and then before you know it we no longer are trying. We just get to a state of going with the flow, not keeping ourselves up. The prime example in my life is being a mother, I get so caught up in being a mother with all the stressors, ups and downs that I don’t always take the time to dress myself up, or take the time just for me. I get so caught up in doing for them or just doing that I forget to just be.
I look in the mirror sometimes and ask myself where did I go? Where is my identity outside of being a mother, worker, friend, daughter and all the other roles I play. I feel as though I don’t know who I am any more and what makes me happy. I’ve been so a customed of pleasing others, or letting the negativity limit what I do, that I now feel lost. I look at my body, finances, home , my mental and emotional state and realize that I have been neglecting myself. That I haven’t been loving myself like I should. I can tell this because I am starting to get angry and resentful towards people I love and things I do. I feel as though I’m smothered with everyone else’s wants and needs that I don’t even know what I want or what I need in my life. In a sense I have been doing this so long that I am not sure sometimes how to love myself or what that even means.
However I am realizing that not only is this not healthy this is not efficient for my soul, my growth, myself, or even others. I can’t possibly love someone to the fullest if I don’t first love myself. I can only give so much with not having enough love for myself. If I am not full how can I expect to fill someone else. If I am giving with what I have which is not full, I can expect to get drained and burnt out. I can get burnt out quicker if the people I’m trying to love and be around are taking from me and not filling me back up in return.
This became more aware to me because the joy I once had with helping and doing things for others has now become frustration and irritating . I had taken a picture of myself and seen the baggage under my eyes, the emptiness in my eyes, it made see the stress on my face, the worries. It made me see that I was not loving myself but instead was beating myself up and letting life get the best of me.
I know that through seeing this picture that it was time for a change. I knew that the Change has to start with loving me. That I must get back to loving me, having peace, joy, and happiness.
I sometimes think the reason that we don’t love ourselves is because we don’t want to be selfish. But honestly loving yourself only becomes selfish when you love yourself too much too the point of arrogance, self-centered, you care nothing about the thoughts and feelings of someone else. I am sure we all know a few people in our lives that think too much about themselves, they love themselves so much that they see no wrong in them. This kind of love is also unhealthy, because it actually ends up isolating you from people who do truly care about you.
I believe that you can love yourself and still love others if you learn to balance it. However it will never work if you love yourself to much, or if you don’t love yourself enough.
I am fed up with not loving myself. I am fed up with allowing other things to stop me from loving myself. I am too young to give up on myself and just let myself go. So, even though it will be a learning process, I plan to do one thing each day to love and get to know myself again. To discover what makes me happy, and to discover who I am outside of the identity that people have tried to place on me.
If I don’t start loving myself, I am afraid I will lose myself in the mess of life, and get to a place of being numb to life. I want to be numb to life because of all the things I’ve been through, are going through, or will go through. I will love this life to the fullest even if it’s taking it back to square one and rediscovering what makes me love me and want to love even more.
I will be talking more on this subject because I feel we as people have stopped loving ourselves and are slowly stopping love in general, it’s just not the same anymore.
For the ones not loving themselves enough start today by reminiscing on something that used to make you happy and do it today, reconnect with that inner self even if you have to back to childhood happiness.
For the ones who loves themselves to much, don’t be so full of yourself that you miss the blessings. Chances are there is a lot you can work on, and you probably have a longing to be loved by others. So, start by doing something for someone outside of yourself, to take inconsideration who you haven’t been so loving to and start there. Love something beyond yourself.
Love is ultimately about balance, and the rest thing is that God has poured his love in us, so that we can have enough love to love God, others, and ourselves. Pray that God pour his love in your heart today and that he helps you to love him, others, and yourself in away that he can give you the power to.
Dont give up on yourself, find away to love yourself and to just love in general no matter how hard it is to find it sometimes.
I don’t want to slip away with life, I don’t want life to win and take away the very things that make life worth living….. With love being the greatest thing….
1 Corinthians 13:13
New International Version
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest Of these is love.