Being Homosexual, Coming Out, and Growing in life- Someones Story

This will be a place where you can come and read someone else’s story. So many times we get caught up in our own lives that we don’t take the time to listen to others. Well this is my start, as well as can be yours of gratitude and taking the time to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes….

Today’s story is very touching and made me cry. It is from someone that I used to be best friends with in elementary school. But, of course somehow lives seem to go there separate ways once life starts happening. Its like when your kids everything seems so sweet, and not a worry in the world but then things become real once your old enough to notice reality. Sometimes within the reality of this world it can be and is a very harsh world. It is just like a harsh world to be the very thing to point fingers out in the differences that we have. These differences stem from race, money, careers, kids/no kids, beautiful not beautiful, homosexual and straight. It seems as though everything has to be divided, that there is no such thing as being one and accepting differences instead of scorning them. Everyone wants to be right, everyone wants to point the finger, however there are very few that say what God tells us. God loves us different or not, sinners or not, so why cant we be as loving and forgiven as a God who is loving and forgiving to us despite our imperfections? Brent’s story to me, is a story of faith, triumph, of overcoming yourself, doubt, fear, and even worry…

Read below for his story…. please like and share if you know someone or if you have ever felt the way he has before ūüôā This story is exactly from Brent, he typed it and emailed it to me. So this is coming straight from him…

My name is Brent Morgan, I am 24 this month and i am a homosexual. I have been gay for as long as I can remember, and I never liked knowing that i could be gay or that guys are attractive to me.¬† I remember times when i was younger, praying to god every day that he would make these feelings go away. I have always wanted to be straight and wanted to like girls so badly. You know these things at a very young age, like most men start liking girls or seeing an actress on tv and thinking how beautiful she is. It was never that way for me. I do think women are beautiful but not any more than that. The first time anyone in my family or even i knew i was gay was my first grade Christmas pageant, I saw the twin boys raising the curtain on stage. I remember turning to my mother and telling her those boys are better looking than i am. After that my parents knew but not sure if it was just something i said. So at about 13 years old around puberty I started noticing guys and i came out as bisexual because i was worried that other people would hate me for being gay and i kept dating women to be normal. at 14 i was with my first man, and it felt right like thats what i wanted. but i also was with my first and only woman sexually at 15. I was not able to perform, just part of me was not in it. I feel like my heart and my mind just kept saying, ” no no no you do not like this, this feels strange and wrong.” How could something so normal and the “right” way by¬†everyone’s¬†standards feel so wrong to me? I honestly felt nothing with her, no¬†excitement or arousel. I wanted to be straight so badly. I came out to my family at 15 and i am so thankful that every person in my family was amazing and accepted me. My mother who is now my best friend, has A LOT of gay friends but I was still scared to tell her, its like I felt that she would change the way she would feel about me. It is very nerve racking to this day to tell someone because you are afraid they will think differently about you. But it is never as bad as you think it will be to tell someone. At 16 I tried to kill myself by overdosing on my medication because I got into a huge fight with my mom. I do not even remember what it was about to be honest but I ended up in an institute for a week to recover and fix what was going on in my life. That was an experience for sure, I discovered in that place that my life is not bad, and I am not crazy. I saw what crazy looked like that week. I am thankful for that experience because I found myself and that friendship with my mother. She has been my rock, my biggest supporter in getting me help and allowing me to be who I am. ¬† I talk to alot of people who agree that they wish they could choose to be straight because they would in a heart beat. If we could choose to be straight or gay, why would we choose to be something that people look down upon or even be hated this badly by so many people. I have had a, “no judgement talk” with a close friend who is close with god and she says people view being gay as a choice. When i explain that its not she told me she believed what i said but feels that we choose to act on these urges not that we choose to have the urges. Now I understand that and I see what she is saying. But why should I block off every thing that I am, every feeling that i have, and suppress every single fiber of my being to be right with god when i can not even be right with myself? In highschool I finally came out as gay, because thats who I am, its me. I never had any issues in school. I was a popular guy and i had alot of people who had my back. If anything I was a bully in school, and i regret that alot. I started smoking alot of pot and spending a lot of nights with a lot of men, I dropped out having no ambitions, no plans for a future. I was wanting a relationship. I was tired of being alone and sleeping around all the time. At 17 I moved out. I wanted to be free and independent live on my own. I took any chance I could to move out with the first loser to offer me a place to stay but i always ended back with my mother jobless, carless, hopeless. Smoking pot seemed to be the only thing i cared about. At 18 an old friend asked me to hangout with him at his boyfriends house one day and I decided to go over and his roommate kept trying to talk to me and I could tell he really liked me. Little did I know that he was my future husband. This one person motivated me he made me the person I am today. He took me around to get a job and i got one. He then drove me to work every single day and allowed me to save my money to buy my first car, he kept my stomach full of food and kept my clothes clean and helped me more than i can ever repay him for. We both quit smoking pot half a year later. I waited and waited for a man to help me become a better me and he finally arrived. Isnt that what love is? Finding that one person who makes you want to be a better person, someone who wants you to excel? This person worked so hard for me to become a better me just changed my whole life. In a week we will be together for 5 years. I am in love. I want to be with someone forever, with someone who makes me happy. So many people do not want a gay man to be happy. They want us to be just like them. People say we are gross, and say things that really hurt. I am not rubbing anything in anyone’s face, I live a private life just friends and family. I am not hurting anyone and I am not flashing my sexuality to anyone. One year ago we moved from Missouri to Florida, we moved on credit cards to be where we want to be in life, and the debts are weighing heavy on us but we are¬†getting¬†through it together. we are able to¬†make what we need to and no matter what the struggle is we never fight about money and our love grows everyday. Love is more than sex, money, and things you own. When you find that kind of relationship, it blows you away. My life has had its ups and downs but i finally feel like I am on the path that it was meant to follow.¬†

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