There comes a time in your life when you have to tell yourself to decide what is best for you. There are plenty of random occurrences that may happen that may not be within our control, such as our parents, environments, and just really life happenings. However, there are some things that we can control like our choices, direction, style, and characteristics that are attainable within our control. But even within those circumstances we can control we are keen to respond with two other methods which could negatively effect our own self- being, self- worth, just basically our existence. Ultimately the way we perceive and respond to circumstances, emotions, and just life and whole could effect the way we value or see our own existence.
The first way that effects your doing whats best for you, is because of the fact that there are many instances where we choose to give some of our control that we have away. For example, when you do something for your parents out of respect even though you really didn’t want to, you are given a little of your control at that moment. The benefit of this when it is not abused is that you should learned and have learned valuable tools for life, when this is used in a teaching and sometimes disciplining way. It is the times when you allow someone to have control over you when you know for sure that its not best for you. The prime example of how allowing someone control over you could negatively effect you is peer pressure. Often times we fall victim to giving our control in situations like this because we become prey to the pressure and tactics people use to make you give up your control in order for them to have control by having power from you being powerless. These are really just signs of toxic things and people that are probably not best for your life. You could also take it as something like this, you have a toxic or dysfunctional family. Which when I say this people are always saying, “Who doesn’t lol”, that could be true that everyone has a little, but no matter even with family you can’t allow there toxic behavior to stop you from doing whats best for you. Alot of toxic families seem to do a lot of mind games, tick for tack ( as in I do for you 1 time, you got to do for me 4 times), and controlling type of situations with their words. Words they say to try to hold you mentally, emotionally in control. You see this happening sometimes in toxic relationships with man and woman. You can experience sayings like “, your not good enough, or dont do this because of this, they call you names, and bring up old mistakes and hold it against you. All just to have control over you , the sad part is that sometimes, we choose to give up control in these situations because we tell ourselves things like, ” it’s family,” they won’t do it again”, well next time I wont”. We tell ourselves things like this so that we can try to justify the negative thing done to us, the only reason we justify it is because of the same excuses we tell ourselves its okay with, really knowing that we would never tolerate some of the things said and done to us, if it wasn’t family. As well as knowing that if you were trying to be completely different that you yourself would never do the things that you tolerate to anyone else not even family.
What I am finding though is justifying it is only making it worse, because deep down inside we begin to hold resentment of the way we are being treated because we know that we dont want to be treated that way and that its not right. Yet, we say this to ourselves 100’s , maybe even 1,000 of times, skipping out on what best for us, all while complaining, resenting, and continuing to allow the same thing.
We have to get back our power of control, but remember that God is in ultimate control and somethings we cant control. But our purpose is to control the things that we can and trust God to do the rest. We must also learn when and when not to give up control , who to give up control to , having discernment to know when to remove yourself from situations and toxic people that are doing no good, and really learning a new direction and walking within a foundation that very few understand. But realizing that if you are doing whats best for you, very few will understand, and very few may support you. Many, will want you to stay the same and may even try to harm you in the process so that you wont change.
That brings me to reason 2 not doing whats best for you because you dont realize how much control you actually have. This happens because you allow the things that people may say or do, or what has happened or is happening to doubt yourself, beat yourself up ,and have not pursued anything. You have gave up so much control by adapting to the people around you, letting anything that has happened or has been said to you chip at your existence, pushing yourself into a state of reliance on things outside of you to make you feel your best. You thrive off of compliments yet inside feel empty and a little lost. You feel lost because somewhere in the back of your mind are all the things that people have or have not said, what you did and did not do and so on and so forth. Not seeing that these things our burying your control, keeping you distracted, never satisfying, and will never allow you to reach your full potential. Do people say messed up things? Yes, people say messed up things. Do messed up things happen? Yes, messed up things happen. It is only by us giving up our control, and not knowing who we are and who has control over everything ( GOD), that causes us to not only not know whats best for us, but also never being truly in touched with our inner selves which has power and control.
We have within us more power and control we could ever imagine, yet we choose to somehow give it to others or allow others and life to tear us down so much that we choose to give up by settling. We choose to throw in the towel ourselves and let other people decide whats best for us.
The reality of it is the fact that there is still hope and a chance. You can choose to gain back control, and gain back in away that you are trusting God more than you are trusting you. But at a place where the key things to trust are God and yourself. Those will be the two things that know whats best for you. God knows even more whats best for us than we do, but we just have to learn to trust. We dont have to allow others to tear us down, or to hang things over our heads to try to get something from us or want us to do something. Other people dont know whats best for us, they know whats best for them. The problem lies on people trying to push whats best for them on you, or making you feel bad because whats best for you isn’t whats best for them, and they dont want you to be able to have something that is better than their best and they just try to find ways to prevent that. They can sometimes do this in a small manner like your family member that always has something to say or ask for something. It could be something in a larger manner like someone physically trying to stop you. Either way, people are going to try to stop you from getting whats best for you.
The power lies within you knowing whats best for you, sticking to whats best for you, and you trusting God to lead you down a path of whats best for you. Because he truly knows whats best for you. Sometimes doing whats best for you means changing your circle, distancing yourself from people you love, giving up bad habits, and so on and so forth. If you really want to do whats best for you, you have to be willing in all spectrum’s of your life to do what it takes do what best for you. I am not saying be selfish and cocky, but I am saying be humble and do whats best for you. Allow God to love you, you love yourself to by doing whats best for you, so that you may know you are fulfilling your purpose in life. Maybe one day you learning how to do whats best for you and reaching your dreams, could help someone else do their best to. Just dont settle, conform, and give up. You deserve to have whats best for you, God wants best for you, and now its time to think outside the box you may have been in to get whats best for you. Letting go of what was and grasping hold to what is…… BEST FOR YOU THAT IS!!!!
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I can not change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.