The simplicity of the small things can far surpass the difficulty of larger things. With the world that we are living in now, we have been confused with thinking that we must buy the finest materialistic items in order to have any fun. We have gotten love misinterpreted with the newest and hottest items off the shelf. We have replaced quality time with quick text and emails. We have made it harder and harder to connect on a deeper level like we used to in the good ol days.
Parenting has become a lot harder because of all the technology, quickness of life, and the media that are being exposed to our children. For some reasons we have gotten so busy with life, that we find ourselves not wanting to deal with the moments in parenthood that we should be. We used to take moments and actually teach our children things when they are misbehaving, but more so now we are putting them in front of the tv when we have had enough or handing them a phone to distract them in the store. We have begin to allow these outside things to even steal some of the most important moments that we could have as parents.
Why? Why have we begin to push technology on our children when we are frustrated? Why have we allowed the tv shows to be responsible for teaching and entertaining our children?
What happened to children and parents having one on one quality time, not distracted with a electronic? What happened to kids playing dress up, little boys playing in the mud and going hiking? What happened to playing board games and having family time? What happened to communicating with our children and talking with them?
What does this lack in parenting have to say about the future generations of children that our being pressed to be in front of a tv, tablet, phone, and video games? Why have we decreased the value of learning authentically, and allowing our children to make small mistakes, and be curious?
Its a sad reality to think about how many children are being neglected in this area of love and quality time. Because honestly no matter how many electronics that you buy your children, or toys, or how many tv shows you put them in front of… it will never replace the genuine love and time that can come from a parent that cares. Even though kids may make it seem like your time doesn’t matter it does, and those electronics can only be sufficient for a certain amount of time. Really it comes down to having a balance, but children are exposed to these things in more than one area of their lives, that it has started to become unbalanced.
The only reason that I say this is because I was once guilty of allowing electronics to be the easy way out for me. However, after really analyzing my childrens behaviors, as well as mine, I realized that I was not doing the best at all for them. Distracting them with electronics, was not helping them learn to connect, grow, or even learn anything in general. Electronics wasn’t giving them the very thing that every human craves, and that is the feeling of being loved and valued. So I developed away to control the electronics during the week with none at all, and only on weekends. This improved my sons behavior in school and increased the time we have spent with each other, because it has forced me to come up with productive things to keep us both busy. I will talk more about this in a different post.
Yesterday, I took my son on a walk because I could see he had been trying to do things to get my attention because of how busy I have been at work and blogging lately. So, I decided that after I picked him up from school that him and I were going to go for a walk, and he wanted us to have a writing night. He wanted to take the time to go and look at things and then write about them. Of course, I agreed because I love to write to, and I thought this would be a great way for us to connect. We went to the local trail, and as we were walking it started to rain softly, but I was not even worried about rushing back to the car. I saw it as only rain, and it reminded me as a child when I used to play in the rain. I was just observing my sons happiness in the moment, of discovering nature, playing in the rain, and his joyful expression of it being just me and him. I noticed that when it was just me and him he opened up to me more, which is sometimes hard for him to do with his little sister around. But seeing this just let me know that this is truly the most valuable thing that I can be doing. Just listening to him, and spending time with him meant more to him in this moment, than any video game, and any chuckecheese visit. It meant more to him because it was me and him, and nothing else interrupting that time together.
At that moment I realized the best thing that I can do for my son is just love him, listen to him, and be there for him. If I was to choose to constantly avoid this time and fill it with things that dont matter what kind of message would I be given to my son about his self worth? how I feel about him? Yesterday, let me know that as a single mother I also dont have to stress myself about trying to get my kids all these things, or do all these things that I may or may not be able to afford. But instead give them something that money can never buy, and no electronic can ever replace and that is a mothers genuine love and time.
Yesterday helped me to realize that my babies wont be young forever, and if I dont take the time in the moments I have with them now, when I do try to make time for the moments later it maybe to late to make any impact. I know that sometimes dealing with tantrums, disobedience, or the mommy mommy mommy, may get frustrating sometimes, but there are lessons in those, love in those, and ways to build up both you and your children.
Its the small choices that you choose to make with small gestures of love, kind words, patience, walks in park and so much more. It doesn’t always have to be up most thing in order to make an impact on your child. It should be acts of love and most importantly understanding. Start simple, start small and work your way up from there. You dont know how much a child’s behavior can change when you give them attention, time, and love that they have been wanting but may have been distracted by with technology. Take the time to invest in your children by investing in all the little things that will one day make your child who they are.