Open Diary- April 19th 2016- Gratitude

Today was a very good day, I woke up this morning, I was able to feed my kids take them to school and go to work.I was able to make someone else’s day today, I was able to help someone today. I was able to get my bills paid today. I was able to eat a good dinner tonight, give my kids a bath, and read them their normal bed time story. I was also able to send my father, who is in prison money today.  Although even in the midst of the things that I said that I was able to do today, there are still alot of things that I cant control, that still may hurt me. For instance my father being in prison, I would rather have him here and not have to send him money, but nonetheless even though that hurts I am still thankful that God made away for me to do something.

Sometimes I fail to realize all the reasons that I have to be thankful, because I am so concentrated on the hurt and the problems that maybe in certain moments in my life. I contemplate all of these things on a daily basis, yet I dont see the joy in them as much as I should. I guess that is why I am working on changing my perception within each day. A perception in which I am just grateful for the day, and all the things that I have in it, even the bad ones. Because I have come to an understanding that even in the darkest moments there is still some glimmer of light somewhere to be found. I have seen that focusing on the problem only creates more problem and steals the joy out of the moment. That’s why today, even though I have many reasons to complain, and possibly even be negative about, I refused to allow my mind to take me there. Instead I started to recite in my mind all the little things that I have to be thankful for in this day. With that being said I have alot to be thankful for in this day, some of which I mention earlier, but also my eyes, ears, legs, arms, taste, and all the little things that we take for granted because they are just there.

I remind myself though that these things could only be temporary, that you dont know what could happen, that there are people out alot worse than I  am. When I think about these things it makes my problems seem so much smaller to the type of things that I could be facing, such as my father who is locked up. My situation could always be worse, than what it is, and thinking this way helps me to remind myself to stay humble and thankful for all things. I could be in a situation greater than the situation I am in.

I believe as well that gratefulness is also a sign of faith. Having faith in what you already have, trusting that God will provide for you.  When I am thankful instead of looking at my problems, I am choosing to have faith instead of doubting. Likewise I believe that the more grateful I become, the more my faith will begin to grow. There are little instances where I lack faith such as random things happening to me like my car, or looking at my problems, or looking at where I am not. I cant do that to myself though anymore, I have to be thankful for where I am at so that I can learn the listens and today, and be moved forward to another position in my life. Remembering that no matter how high up God takes me I still must master the skill of gratefulness, trust, and so much more in order to soak in the best of what those moments have to offer.

I am glad that today went smooth, I believe it went smooth because I wasn’t looking at my problems, I was looking at my blessings. By looking at my blessings and remembering who God is I am reminded that I am blessed and that God will never leave or forsake me, will always provide for me and so much more. I am blessed beyond measure, and as I continue to learn to trust God in each day, and develop a heart of gratefulness, I cant wait to see how much further God takes me.

Signed,

 

A grateful woman

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