Chances are if you are reading this post, you have some thought of you being a fixer. Chances are you are wanting to see some of the signs of being a fixer. Chances are somewhere deep inside your gut, you already know that you are, but you just want to confirm it. Well this post, will confirm at least 16 ways that show you are a fixer. There is probably a point in everyone’s life, were we have in some way shape or formed tried to “fix” someone or something. The issue doesn’t lie in the “fix”, it lies within how much we “fix”, and if we are “fixing” so much that it begins to take away from our own self being. There are a lot of things that make fixing something or someone go overboard, with some of the simple actions that we take. Sometimes in the mist of fixing we tend to neglect ourselves which ends up causing more issues, or we can even end up creating more issues for the very thing that we are trying to ” fix”.
Why, do we try to fix things when we ourselves may have enough problems that we need to fix? But, because we spend so much time trying to fix other peoples problems, we never tend to be able to focus on our own long enough to fix what we have going on. Maybe, we like to look at other peoples issues so that we don’t have to fix the mess that we are in. Nonetheless, for whatever reason, being a fixer can become extremely toxic to our well being if we don’t control it. Below you will find 15 signs of being a fixer.
15 Signs Of Being A Fixer
- You try to control others- You tend to be the one trying to tell everyone else what they need to do in their lives. You try to control through influencing their choices, thoughts, or actions.
2. You always come to the rescue of others- You always come to the rescue of other people, no matter if what they are doing is good or not. You find that if you come to their rescue you can help fix whatever it is they are facing.
3. You worry about others problems more than your own- You try to fix so much for other people, that you begin to think so much on what you can do to help someone else’s problem that you forget yours. You go above and beyond for someone else’s issues, while neglecting your own.
4. You put other needs/ wants before your own- You think so much about fixing, that you will put others wants and needs before your own. You will go out of your way to fulfill someone else’s wants and needs, even if they do not align with yours. You may also do this even if you don’t have the means to.
5. You value others opinions over your own- You rely so much on fixing other peoples problems, that others opinions become more important than your own because you try to please them more than pleasing yourself.
6. You live to make others happy- You will risk your own happiness just to make sure that someone else is happy. Sometimes you do this, even though you know for sure it does nothing good for your happiness or life, but you do it just to please and fix.
7. You allow others to treat you wrong because you think you can fix them- You may endure someone treating you badly, because you think that you can fix them. You think that if you stay around, or do this or that, they will change. You begin to make excuses for the behavior that they are showing.
8. You try to change someone who doesn’t want to be changed- Even though people may express they don’t want to do something, think a certain way or etc, you may still try to fix or rescue them. You have such a fix it mentality that even someone telling you that they wont change, you still are convinced that you can fix them.
9. You think your way is right all the time and try to force your views on others- Because you think that you can fix everything, you even think that you can fix someone into believing every little thing that you think.
10. You stress yourself out – You try to fix so much, that when people aren’t doing what you want them to fix, it bothers you to the point of worrying and stressing.
11. Helping others is what boost your self-esteem- You don’t feel good about yourself unless you are doing something for someone else. You don’t feel good about yourself unless you feel like you are fixing someone or something.
12. You obsess over ways you can help someone- You fixate on ways that you can help someone else, to the point were you are constantly thinking about. You let it interrupt your mind, because you are thinking of all the ways you can fix it.
13.You talk and do more than listen- As fixers you tend to always do and talk rather than listen to what someone has to say. You have a hard time listening because you are thinking about all the ways that you can fix the situation or person.
14. You beat yourself when someone continues the same choices- When you are unable to fix someone, you take that out on yourself.
15.You try to look for people you can change- We are so adapted to wanting to fix people that we go out and try to find someone that we can fix.
Fixing someone only becomes a problem, when we try to do it all the time, and we allow it to alter our own being. I used to try to fix people in my family all the time, because I had a toxic family that needed a lot of help. I used to beat myself over it, and really let it bother me that they wouldn’t change but I stopped doing it. I learned to stop being a fixer. I learned to fix only what I could fix, and that has to begin with first fixing yourself.
If you are wanting to see more signs that may not be included in this post, check out this post with 21 signs You’re a definite fixer , this is a great post that goes in great detail and has great examples.
What are some ways that you are a fixer?