Open Diary: Be Who You Are

Dear Diary,

Again, it has been a few days since I have written. I have been so consumed with trying to make my blog better for my readers, and figuring out more details of the direction I want to go that I have been neglecting just writing for release of thoughts.  There has been so many things running through my mind lately that it has been very hard to just focus on one thing. I realize though that focusing on many things is only creating anxiety and a head full of roaming thoughts.

These past couple weeks I have been struggling with the concept of what to talk about to connect with my readers.I know that I want to write in away that will help people feel motivated, understood, supported and so much more. I knew that I didn’t want to be just like another self improvement blog or really know if I could classify myself as that. I felt as though I wasn’t finding happiness with trying to conform my post to what is typical.

So, I just begin to think about what exactly is it that I want to say or do to help reach people at a heart level.  I have been listening to a lot of motivational speakers, reading, doing plenty of online research, meditating in prayer/word. Through doing each of these things, I couldn’t help to get the assumption that they all pointed to YOU.  I gathered that the meaning of life, reaching people, enjoying life, is simply the art of just being who you are.   The problem however occurs because so many people don’t know how to be who they are because they don’t know who they are.  That made me think about if I even knew myself all the way.  It caused me to contemplate if I was even being real to myself, and understood who I was.

There are plenty of things in my life where I know who I am, but there are still instances I am working on with the pressure of peers, media that make me question who I am. They make you ask questions like if you are good enough. They make you want to compare every little thing about yourself to someone else.

As I continued to mediate on this thought, I realized that the biggest key of being who you are is being able to stand firm in confidence in who are. It is the feeling of being 100% comfortable in yourself flaws and all, and not feel like you have to alter that for anyone.

I took look back on my life, and saw that a lot of the unhappiness, mistakes, and etc in my life were because I wasn’t staying true to who I was but instead was going with what others tried to tell me I was.

That no longer is who I desire to be. I desire to be someone fully confident and stays true to what is the most important to me. The second point I realized that helps to be comfortable in who you are is admitting to yourself who you are not. Once you realize who you are not, or who you don’t want to be, it can help you discover more of the person that you do want to be. For instance, I know that I don’t want to be a bitter person full of resent from the past.

Knowing that is something that I don’t want to be, helps me then to see what I need to be or desire to be for myself. Therefore replacing what I don;t want with what I do want which is to be a person free from the past and forgiving.  After knowing that this is part of someone I desire to be, I can begin to make the changes necessary to start working towards the person that I see myself being.

I have realized that another huge thing about being who you are, is vulnerability. Sometimes being vulnerable is a hard thing, because of things that I encountered when I was younger. I have a hard time expressing emotion, and laying myself out there because when I did in the past I was always hurt, disappointed, criticized and etc.  What I am realizing though is that apart of being who you are is being able to show that we are vulnerable, its being able to be true enough with your struggles, successes, flaws, good looks, the good , the bad,and even sometimes the ugly. It is being able to have the courage to show yourself that it is okay to have imperfections, problems,  questions, uncertainty, emotions and etc.

Through realizing these 3 things so far, it has really helped me in the pursuit of being able to stand firm in who I am. Knowing these 3 things I have found the very direction that I am going to take with Elevateursoul.  That is simply to be who I am and stay true to who I am.

To be able to show vulnerability, to show the ugliness of my past, the struggle of my present, and one day the success of the future. It is being able to show each lesson, as well as blessings along the way. It is being able to show people that there is someone willing to admit that they are not perfect, and how even in our imperfections we can still enjoy the journey of life.

I am simply going to use Elevateursoul to be a platform of truth. The truth that we all have issues, insecurities, failures, successes, past, presents, and futures. I am going to use Elevateursoul to speak a truth that many wish to hear, but very few speak.

Accepting the fact that, there is nothing no one can say or do to me that can effect how I see myself because I know who I am. And, if there is every a time that comes that I may question who I am within myself , I will remember who God says that I am.

No one is perfect, and its time that I and we stop pretending that everyone and everything is.

Learning to Be who I am, accepting who I am and loving who I am…. flaws and all

 

Sincerely,

A girl just trying to be who I am

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