Darkness had once been intertwined into my existence. The darkness had submerged from forcefully prowling its way into the pieces of me that were meant to keep my life flowing. The unwanted obstacles of life, the harsh realities of toxic dysfunction, the loneliness of abandonment, the insecurities from no support, the feeling of being lost with no clear guidance or direction. The dreams ruined, the unbearable truths of questions asked, the broken heart from constant disappointment. The lack of knowing how to love, that the person you are is capable of being loved, and how to love yourself. The thoughts of suicide because of the depression. These were the moments when life seemed to only be creating darkness all around me. These were the moments when my vision was dark through being blinded by the issues that had seemed impossible to escape. The darkness had stolen so much of who I was and replaced it with false senses of security, and questions of my worthiness. When darkness seems to be the only thing surrounding you, it feels as though you have blinders on which make it impossible for your eyes to see anything past what those blinders allow you to see. At those moments of darkness nothing else seems possible and the feeling of it getting better seems to be the most impossible thing. That is until something sparks within you, something or someone shows you something different by removing those blinders from your eyes. Causing an opening of a perception of possibilities that you could have never imagined before.
The eye opener is the very one that is capable of making the blind see. God. God is the one who can reach down and remove those blinders from your eyes, causing you to see clearer than you ever have before. Once those blinders are removed, and your eyes begin to adjust to the light that comes invading in that darkness you were in, you begin to see life in a whole new way. You begin to feel lighter than you ever have before. The weight of all the darkness slowly begins to dim away, because the light is to powerful for the darkness to overcome. However you realize that light can overcome any amount of darkness. The darkness was removed one by one, and replaced with the benefits of having light. The depression was replaced with peace. The abandonment was replaced with the feeling of belonging. The unworthiness replaced with the value of lacking nothing. The longing for acceptance replaced with knowing that I have already been approved. The lost dreams of the past replaced with hopes for the future. The feeling of not knowing what love is was replaced with knowing who is love, how I am love, and the power within that is capable of loving.
The minute that the light interceded the darkness, was the moment that I began to realize that just because I started off in darkness doesn’t mean that I end there. The minute that light penetrated my existence in the depths of darkness in my soul, was the moment that I realized that no amount of darkness can stop me from getting the light if I seek it. The minute that I begin to let go of the false security the darkness was giving me, it opened up the opportunity to get true sense of self through holding on to the true purposes of life. The minute that I decided that darkness was no longer going to win, that I was no longer going to feel sorry for myself, complain or sulk in the darkness, was the moment that light begin to grow and darkness began to lose its power.
The possibilities with light are limitless and with darkness we only feel like it is something endless, that will never change. Seeking and having that light is the very thing that helps to sustain us when the darkness tries to find its way back in. Having the light doesn’t say that you won’t ever have darkness, but it does say that the light will always be present to see you through the darkness. It is only when we choose to not see the light, seek the light, or feel the light, that we end up accustomed to the darkness that tries to surround us. We must remember that just as the light of the sun may go down, and the darkness comes up at night doesn’t mean that the light of the moon will ever stop shining. No matter what there is always light but we have to be the ones to first want to begin to desire to see it.